April 21, 2010

I went back to the Big City to finish up some work and have some fun! And by fun I mean work. I made sure to see my “Husband” while I was there. Because he still needs to think that I live there. We met at IHOP so I could eat some blueberry pancakes. He told me he had gotten his own place and had bought some things for the baby…finally. I asked him how things at work were going. He told me his boss is a racist. Translation- I’m screwing up at work and my boss is trying to figure out how to get rid of me. But we’ll go with the whole racist thing. He apparently was caught working at a competitors business. Which in most business is an obvious no no. That compounded with the fact that HR had found out that he was filing unemployment for the last year while he has been a full time employee, can’t be good for his job security. I could really care less. Mostly because I’m the one who turned him in to the unemployment office before I moved. So I figured that one was coming. I had only hoped it would come after the baby as he carries our insurance. The saga…
Since I have been home I have realized how completely and utterly crazy my friends and family are. My mother has ADD when it comes to the radio. She will never listen to a song in its entirety. I’ve never been in a car with someone who in a 20 minute car ride can literally change the station 12 times. I have also began to notice how people in the suburbs drive. My mother included. LIKE MANIACS. City folk may drive reckless, but there is a certain amount of caution given to fellow drivers. You yield, anticipate where they may go and slow down so they can squeeze in. Sure you may honk your horn to make them wake up or stop texting and drive, but there is no anger, it’s a friendly little reminder that there are people behind you. Now Suburban folk whole nother story. Yield? What’s that? Ohh that’s when I speed up so as to block you so you can’t get in. And then I’m going to speed around you just so we can sit at the stop light in the same place. Then I am going to race off to the next stop light, so I can again stop. Because I am in a very big hurry to go to the next suburb and eat at a chain restaurant. And then there is the signal. Signal and get over. I mean that’s what I do. But here you better not signal because that means I will do everything in my power to keep you where you are! I don’t know why I want you stay over there, I just don’t want you getting in front of me. Even if you just want to switch lanes to turn, I don’t care! It seems that everyone here is In a big hurry to do something that is very important. Like go to the next burb over and eat at a chain restaurant. Did I already say that?
One of my besties here just bought a house! Yesterday was the big move day. From the apartment to the house. She had her brother and dad coming with their truck to help. Now anyone who knows me, knows I’m not into the whole manual labor thing. I’ll do it, but I would rather pay someone to do it for me. Originally she was going to hire movers. But buying a house has a slew of expenses attached with it, which means movers were out. I woke up and head to her house to help finish up packing. Let me stop there and explain something about myself- when undertaking a large task such as moving I like to be organized. Boxes, labeled with what room and contents. Bubble wrap for glass and other breakables. That big thing of saran wrap to wrap furniture. Furniture pads. You get the picture. Now, I walk into her house and I see, trash bags with clothes in them. And laundry baskets with clothes in them. Closets with clothes in them. A washing machine with clothes in it. Bins with clothes in them. I don’t know what is clean what is trash and how I am going to make it through this. So the first thing I do is start cleaning. Let me rephrase- try to start cleaning. There are no cleaning supplies, no gloves no trash bags and my friend looks like she’s about to have a panic attack. To the dollar store! I get back and clean, help put stuff in with other stuff. And make those stuff piles bigger. I wonder how big her brothers truck is. Because I see 2 couches, a bed, washer and dryer, flat screen, entertainment center and a big wooden kitchen table. Yeah, why did I offer to help? Oh, right she’s my friend. Ok.