The Battle Pt 1

I figured while I was waiting to get my hair did, I would tell you guys what happened on the sperm donor front. I call this “The Battle pt 1” because I’m pretty sure there will be a part 2 and possibly 3, 4, 5. We’ll see…

After my daughter was born I had this overwhelming feeling of relief. She had made it into the world safe and sound in MY hometown. My lawyer advised me that if I ever wanted to move back home with my baby then she had to be born in my hometown. Better safe than sorry. If I had chosen to stay in the big city and to have her and then move, I would need my “husbands” permission or it would be considered kidnapping Hence the hasty move home.

My “husband” had no idea that I was even gone. I had been living at home for 2 months and he was completely clueless. Never came by the apartment to get the snow off the car or take the trash down 3 flights of stairs. Never came by work to bring us something to eat. Never paid any bills, so I wouldn't have to work so hard. So imagine his surprise when he ran into one of my clients on the street and they congratulated him! Doh! Yes, a stranger on the street told him the baby had been born.

And so it begins...
June 1, 2010 9:15 am- I get a text message "Call me please" followed by a series of phone calls.
9:46am- Text message "This is beyond evil." At this point I know that he knows she's here.
10:12am- A 3 minute long message from his sister. (Whom I heard from once since I have been pregnant via facebook). She tells me how shocked she is that I would have the baby and not tell him. "Right is right and wrong is wrong and this is just wrong". (And cheating on your pregnant wife is....?) Then she proceeds to tell me how fathers have rights too and she never would have thought I would do something like this yadda yadda yadda. She doesn't know me. And if I am anything it's thorough and resilient.
10:14am- Rapid fire text messages to me. "I'm coming to see my baby." "You've f---ed up. You are f---ed up. I can't stand you. Can't believe you would do that. That's my baby and my baby has family too."
Somewhere in the midst of this he decides to text my brother a few obscenities. After the two of then had words he moved on to drop F bombs on my mother and father via text. Now I'm getting pissed. Which means he's getting to me. And nothing good can come out of two angry emotional people. I called him. I did my best to stay calm and civil. Until he started calling me a crazy "B". I hung up. He calls me back and tells me he's on his way to see his baby. (His baby??) And I asked him, where exactly would you be going? He says to the apartment. Well I'm not there. Where am I? I moved to Texas 2 months ago dumb a--! You seriously thought I was going to stay in the big city and go through all of this alone? You're stupider than I thought. You f---ing crazy b---h. How cou-...
Dial tone.
10:52am- My family and I receive this text "Crazy f---ing cult members". I get, "Evil f---ing
b--ch. So f---ing evil. You deserved to be alone." "F--k you."
11:21am- His sister sends me a book of texts. Let me clear my throat.... "I hope I live to see the day that I can tell the baby how you single handedly extracted her father and his entire family from her life. I am so hurt by your actions. No matter what happened between you and him it has absolutely nothing to do with her. The least you could do is send my mom a picture or something of her only grandchild. My mom doesn't deserve this at all." YAWN. "That's just cold. You keep living...karma catches up to each and every one of us."
Where do I even start? Let's go sentence by sentence. "I hope I live to see the day....", kind of a defeated statement. Lets me know you have given up. Have no intentions of even putting forth any effort to see this angel. Fine with me! "I am so hurt by your actions". Ask me if I care. You have not even seen me pregnant. I haven't gotten one thing from you or anyone in your family for the baby. So take your hurt feelings and roll them up in a big burrito and eat them you fat--- ok. "No matter what happened between you and him it has absolutely nothing to do with her." Now that one is a doosey. Him having sex with an upwards of 10 different women while I was pregnant has nothing to do with the baby? Him sleeping with some ho with the clap and then coming home to have sex with me has nothing to do with the baby? (We are fine by the way). Him spending the little bit of money that he makes on weed and pills and bartering services for sex while I am working 8 hours a day standing on my feet all day to support our family has nothing to do with her? (I think that was a run-on sentence, so I apologize to Mrs. McBride my 5th grade teacher). Get real! It has everything to do with her. And you and your whole family are completely delusional to think otherwise. "The least you could do is send my mom a picture...My mom doesn't deserve this at all." Your mother has done nothing to help me or this baby and now I am supposed to send her a picture? I should just email them a picture of a Gerber baby, it's not like she has some kind of an emotional attachment to either kid, so what difference would it make? And yo mama is the reason why I'm in this situation right now. She obviously didn't raise him right. "Karma catches up to each and every one of us." Exactly.

I turned off my phone after that. A few hours later he sends me a text message asking me to call him because he's looking at flights to come see her. Then he sends me a text asking me to send his mother a picture. Then he calls me saying he wants to coordinate a good time when he and his mom can come meet her. Now let me get this right: You just cussed me and my family out 5 days after having a baby. Called me every name in the book and told me I deserve to be alone. And NOW you want me to call you and give you a good time to come to my parents house to meet her? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I need some of the crack you smoking. Because I would love to visit the alternate universe that you live in. Through all this, my family decided that we would not respond. After I spoke to him and he kept yelling and cussing we took a stand to no longer communicate with him. As hard as it is I have not said one word to him or his dumb family. We don't want to get involved in some childish back and forth. It will only upset us and make us say terrible (and true) things. It would make us no better than them. Sometimes you have to listen to your mother when she tells you to walk away from a fight that's not worth it. This was 6 weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since. It isn't over though. We will have our say. This battle is over, but we still have to win the war.