I know, I know! A whole month of no stories. Sorry I was busy- having a baby. I was hoping to have some interesting story of how I, through my own strength and modern medical science, labored intensely and pushed this beautiful fragile life through my vag. No such luck. She was breech so I had a c-section. My apologies. No exciting story. But I will make a story out of anything-
The operation was scheduled for 9, but I had to be at the hospital at 6. A.M. Enough said. How am I supposed to get any sleep the night before? When I know that the next morning I will officially be a mother. A MOTHER. Not that I didn't know for the last nine months I have been brewing a little one in my belly, it's just the realization that it will actually be happening at 9AM. Takes some of the spontaneity out of the whole "labor" idea. There were no contractions, no water breaking, no pain, no pushing, no sweating, no tearing, my vagina is in pristine condition and I could poop without worry of ripping anything- hmmmm I guess I shouldn't complain. C-sections rock! So I guess the story is you always fear the unknown. And just because I technically didn't "labor", doesn't mean I didn't labor. Anyone who knows me knows I been laboring the last 9 months, so I think a quick and easy incision, a few staples and 70 hydrocodone is completely fair.
There. Done. Labor.
I spent 3 glorious days in the hospital. A visit I would gladly do again. What's not to love about a remote operated bed, pain medicine every couple of hours, all the food I can eat and a catheter? I could have laid there forever. My first day was a breeze. Had a good amount of visitors and it all seemed rather surreal. People changing diapers for me, holding her and making sure I was comfortable. Then around 5 in the morning this "nurse" decides to remove my epidural! Yes you heard me. This heifer comes in my room and takes out my epidural! Things went from surreal to real very quick. I could barely move. I showered sitting on a chair. And vowed I would just pee on myself as to avoid getting up. Happily that first time getting up was the worst. Things slowly got better. Later on that evening a nurse comes in and wakes my mother and I up to tell us that my baby is loosing to much weight. She was 6lbs 8oz when she was born and now she is 5 lbs 11oz. Do the math people that's almost a pound in one day. So I am a mess. They were talking about putting an IV in. So of course I think I am a terrible mother bc I can't even produce enough milk to feed my baby. My mother is in the middle of putting the smack down on this nurse when my big brother walks in like Superman to save the day. Best moment ever. Having my mom, dad and brother there to support me in this moment was just what I needed! We proceeded to pimp slap the nurse and get her fired on the spot. Just kidding. We did however have the charge nurse come in and smooth things over. She showed me how to breastfeed properly and within 4 days baby girl had gained all her birth weight back. Take that stupid nurse. I got released the next day. Two days home with my baby and then the sh*& really hits the fan...
(Note to the reader-my milk just dropped and is about to make my boobs explode which means baby girl is about to wake up for her 3 hour feeding. Therefore I must save the drama for next time. But when I say it's stupid good...trust me.)
